Dear diary,

This week had been dreadful. The minutes, hours and days crawled by as though it had been years. I know he feels it too, which is why I look forward to every night when we skype. 10:30pm. Time ticked even painfully slower. But even if I have to wait for him... I'd do that.

I understand things aren't easy for him, feeling stressed and tense. I couldn't help much but be a listener. Yet sometimes, I feel like a sandbag to throw tantrums onto. He seems to get hot tempered and angry instantly, either because of something I did wrong or something done unintentionally. I really didn't mean to do those things to anger him.

Even if I have, I am confused. Shall I sms or call?


If I do, would he think of me as a nuisance? I don't know.


If I don't.. Yes, he would.. think of me not putting any effort at all.

I really am trying very hard, to do my best.

I thought being in a relationship is sweet. I hear that a true boyfriend wouldn't make his girl cry. But I never cried this much before. Unaware to him, it's a serious matter. He says that everything that happened between us will bind our hearts closer. Instead, I feel that they are actually telling us that we are different. We are both just too afraid to admit it.

Dear diary, can I still go to him?when I am crying because of him.


Can I still confide to him? when he's one of my sorrows.


Can I still be tolerate with him? when he doesn't think of me. of what I feel.

Is he still the one? As he claims, loving me more than I love him.

I don't know anymore.